Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
