I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
