How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
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When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize