I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
