I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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