Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
