i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
