On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize