You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
