The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
