We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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