i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize