woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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