Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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