We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
