i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I want is dick and wine.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
