Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
