There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
