If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
