i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I have post one night stand depression
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
