I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
