i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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