If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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