he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
