I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
