I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
