shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just cut my nipple shaving
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
