we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
