he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize