i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
