so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
