he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
