So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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