did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
