my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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