I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
