So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't think brook has ever known best
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
