The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
