I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
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I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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