Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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