using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
