HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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