Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
