Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
