"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
