Where is the hickey?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
