4 words: hood of his car
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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