Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
