I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
