you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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