We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
