I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
