I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
