just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize