There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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