singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize