I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
