I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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