Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize