Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
