My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
