i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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