Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
