I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
