yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
