do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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