It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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