He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
