he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize